I have had a wonderful equine partner for 16 years. Her name is Pearl, she is a 23 year old Welsh Cob mare and lives in Vermont year round. When I am in Vermont for 6 months of the year we explore the extensive network of trails we know so well in the Green Mountains near my home. We know what every nuance of muscle movement in each others bodies means, and I fully relax when we ride because I know how she is going to respond in most situations. I also know that she will do her best to take care of me and make sure I stay with her. This has been proven many times over the years. I treasure every single ride with Pearl, as I know that at her age, any ride could be our last ride.

A couple years ago Pearl started doing something new before every ride. It is after I have brushed her, put on her saddle and my helmet and just as I approach her with her bridle. She put her chin on my shoulder. The first time she did it I started to move away and she plunked her chin back on my shoulder and gently pressed down. So I stayed. With her eye an inch or so from my eye she insists that we take a minute to just look each other in the eye and be still. During that minute we share together I feel like we have a soothing warmth surrounding us. She initiates this before every ride, sometimes just for a minute, and sometimes she wants to stay there longer. When she started doing this I felt that she treasures our rides as much as I do.

My relationship with Pearl is a tough act to follow for my younger mare, Minnie. In all fairness, it took Pearl about 10 years to stop questioning my decisions - I think I finally answered all of her questions! Minnie and I are getting there. Our relationship changed dramatically over last two years. Minnie came to me when she was 7 months old, and for the first 8 years she was a horse that not only questioned any request, but came within a hairs breadth of saying “No, and go ahead and try to make me”. That is not what I want in a relationship with a horse, I don’t want to battle. So I had to really use my brain to find ways to change her mind.

When she was younger I could feel a firm wall of resistance in her when anything was asked of her, so I had to find ways to teach her without hitting that wall of resistance and gradually push that wall back with each layer we built of mutual understanding. Over the last two years my mission was to hold her interest so that she could learn to want to learn, and to show her why she needed to know. That was why we took up Dressage. It worked for us to be learning the different aspects of a test in pieces. It gave her focus. As she learned it started to click that the reason I was teaching her was so that she would have better balance in general, as well as with me on her. As she strengthened and became more balanced she became very good at dressage and she knew she was good. She was confident and relaxed at shows. The second she headed into the ring she did her best and knew what she was doing.

To be continued… please subscribe below to join the blog.